


Broken

by TheWildOmega



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, F/M, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-19
Updated: 2016-04-13
Packaged: 2018-05-21 14:19:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6054748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWildOmega/pseuds/TheWildOmega
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reader has really bad anxiety and can't take it anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

You had been laying on the bed in the cold room of your house now for what seemed like years. You felt nothing but pain. Your eyes burnt from the thousands of tears that had fallen. Your limbs felt like they weighted a ton. Giving a whimper you moved your head to look at the white sheets now growing red. Letting your head fall back to the bed you closed your eyes and thought back on the past couple of weeks...

  
"Y/n he doesn't love you!" Dean shouted at you for the tenth time. You let out a loud sob as you clinched the blanket you were covering your nudity with. "He does..." you cried as tears streamed down your face. "Really y/n then why did he leave. Why didn't he stay with you!" He yelled making your heart hurt and your anxiety sky rocket. "He said he loved me... that I was beautiful." No one had ever made you feel loved or pretty before, Crowley had. He had taken you all over the world on dates. Crowley was a real gentleman he had brought you flowers and until tonight he had never wanted anything from you.

  
You had been a virgin before tonight with Crowley. It had been just like you had dreamed. Crowley had taken you out to a nice restaurant and went on a nice walk afterwards. It was everything you ever wanted. He was slow and patient with you. He took his time and made sure it was a painless as possible. Everything was going great until Dean and Sam barged in. Crowley had been on top of you when the door busted open. Seeing the boys pointing guns at him Crowley looked down at you before disappearing.

  
"And you believed him! Are you stupid Y/n!?" Dean yelled making you whimper and shake. "no..." you choked out. "Well obviously you are. Your so desperate for someone to love you that you'll spread your legs for the first guy who tells you your pretty." His words knocked the breath out of you. Dean and Sam were the closest thing to a family you had and never in your whole life did you think they would hurt you this bad. You slowly sunk into the covers that had only moments ago comforted you and the man you had fallen in love with. "Y/n... I'm.." Dean started his voice now only holding regret. "Go away... please just go away."

  
Ever since that night you had not left your house. Dean and Sam called but you never answered. Crowley had never showed back up. The boys were right... he didn't love you... no one did. You were ugly and weird and there was nobody that wanted you. Deciding to end your heartbreak you had put on your favorite record, lit the candles in the room that Crowley had lit that night. Looking in the mirror you placed the letter that you had wrote for your brothers on your dresser. It told them how sorry you were and how you loved them but couldn't do this anymore. Walking to your bed you ended the pain and loneliness you had felt for so long.

  
Looking around you you saw you were now in a cold, dark room. It's walls made of stone. The floors covered in dirt and blood. The only light coming from the window outside the large wooden door. Your eyes scanning down to where a heavy weight rested around your ankles and wrists... chains that connected to the walls. No doubt this was Hell. It wasn't hot as you thought it would be it was cold, ice cold. Feeling tears run down your cheeks you pulled up your knees and curled yourself into a ball and cried.

You had been here for what felt like days. No one had came in your cell since you got here and you had fallen asleep. Suddenly the door opened and instantly someone was by your side. "Oh luv what have you done?"


	2. Chapter 2

You felt strange. All you remembered was Crowley lifting you from the ground and carrying you from your cell. Sitting up you now found yourself in a bed in a dark room. The bed was the biggest you had ever seen, taking up a big part of the room. Looking down you saw you were now in a black dress shirt and there were bandages wrapped around your wrist where the chains had been.

  
Hearing a door open you were snapped out of your confusion to see the face of a woman. She was dressed in a black dress, her hair in a bun. You couldn't help from curling up when she walked over to you. Coming to stand beside you she gave you an annoyed look before grabbing your arm tightly. Jumping you looked down to see her checking an IV that was in your arm.

Grabbing another bag of fluid she hooked it up. "Um... Excuse me miss... But what is that for? " you asked her, your voice hoarse and shaky. "It's fluid to help keep you alive... Don't know why obviously you knew your life was worth nothing. "she said with an evil grin nodding at your wrists.

  
Feeling your lip tremble at her harsh words you heard a snap and looked to see the woman on the ground withering in pain. "are you alright? " you asked going to get up before hearing another snap and seeing her vanish. Looking around you saw Crowley standing at the end of the bed. "Crowley? Where did that woman go? Is she alright? " you asked. Cocking his head to the side he looked at you. "Why would you care about her well being after what she said to you luv? " Looking down tears flooded your eyes "because... She was right... "you mumbled.

  
Instantly Crowley was by your side "no darling no. She was not right. Your life is worth everything. " shaking your head crowley frowned, "No it's not... I'm nothing...that's why you left me. " Gently he pulled you into his arms and held you. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry y/n. I didn't want to leave you. I never wanted to leave you." he cooed to you, rubbing his hands down your back and head. "Then why... Di... Did you? " you asked through your sobs.

Letting out a sigh Crowley moved to lean back against the headboard,holding you in his lap. "I left because I didn't want you to feel like you had to choose between me or the boys. They are like your family... And I'm... " "The man I love." y/n said finishing his sentence for him.

  
Crowley sat there without saying a word for a while and instantly you thought he didn't feel the same. "Why? Why would you love me? I'm a demon.. I'm evil." meeting his eyes you shook your head. "No your not. You are the only person to ever make me feel like I'm worth something... The only one that made me want to keep on trying....and I do love you Crowley... But I understand if you don't... " you never got to finish your sentence before Crowley was kissing you. "Please forgive me y/n. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you but I promise I will be now. Now and forever... if you will have me that is? " feeling more tears come to your eyes you hugged him as tightly as you could. "Of course I will... I love you Crowley. " smiling he wrapped his arms around you "and I love you, my sweet y/n. " hearing those words somehow you knew everything was going to be okay.


	3. Chapter 3

Things had been better since you and Crowley admitted your feelings for one another. He had not allowed you to go back to your own home, instead making you stay with him. You figured it had allot to do with your suicide. 

Crowley had told you that he returned your soul to your body making it as if you never died. The scars on your wrist had started to heal quickly with his help. Crowley would change the bandages twice a day, rubbing this thick green stuff on it. He had told you it was herbs that would leave no scar. Overall you were happier than you could ever remember being in your life. Crowley took care of you, made you feel loved. 

Today he was taking you back to your house so that you could pack what you wanted to take back to his chambers. Looking around you saw so many memories, mostly sad. Staring at the bed you looked at the red stain on the white sheets. It was strange... You couldn't look away. "...y/n darling I found... "Crowley walked into the room to see you looking at the bed. Quickly moving to your side he pulled you into his arms, snapping you out of your trance. 

He held you close making sure your eyes never drifted to the bed. Snapping his fingers it disappeared. Once you had calmed down you looked up at him. He gave you a small smile as he stroked the side of your face. 

Grabbing the few things you wanted to bring you placed them in an old book bag. Looking over you saw Crowley going through your book collection and giggled. He had already had a small pile of books he wanted along with some movies. You laughed when he came to your copy of braveheart, scoffing at it before tossing it behind him to the floor. "what's wrong with the tale of William Wallace?" you asked giggling. Lifting you up he sat you in front of him on the counter. "too many things to count but I shall list a few, one, Mel Gibson isn't even Scottish. Two, no one in Scotland talks like that. And three, they over exaggerated the whole story." you couldn't help from giggling at his list. "what's it like there?" you asked making him give you a soft smile "I'll take you there one day." 

Meeting his lips you kissed him. It was strange you would have guessed his lips would have been rough but they were soft. Moving his hands he held your hips as he deepened the kiss. The two of you had yet to have sex. Crowley had told you he wanted to wait until you were fully healed. In all you didn't mind,you were happy with him just holding you. 

Suddenly you were snapped out of your kiss by the sound of a gun and Crowley screaming out in pain. Panicking you looked to see dean and Sam standing in the doorway. Both brothers had guns raised and looked mad as hell. Looking Crowley was trying to cover you the best he could. They had shot him in the back three times and although you knew he was in no serious danger it still hurt him. 

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? " you yelled to the boys while cupping Crowley's face in your hands. "are you okay?" you mumbled to him looking in his eyes. Seeing him nod his head you relaxed some. Looking at his back you saw smoke coming from the three holes and knew they had shot him with holy water. Seeing you care for Crowley Dean stomped over and grabbed your wrist, snatching you down from the counter and away from Crowley. 

You couldn't help from crying out as he squeezed where your wrists were still healing. "Dean let me go... You're hurting me." Getting in your face he stared daggers into you "what the hell is wrong with you y/n. We found your note on the dresser, saw the blood on the bed. How could you be so fucking stupid to kill yourself... We come back here to find you back here with him. God you are so pathetic. You crawl right back to the guy who doesn't give two shits about you like a bitch in heat... " Dean never got to finish his rant of making you feel worthless as Crowley's fist collided with his jaw. 

Dean fell to the ground and Crowley was instantly on top of him, beating him to a pulp. Sam went to go to his brother's aid but was thrown back into the wall and held there by a force. Getting afraid you ran to Crowley. "Crowley stop please your killing him." you cried trying to stop his fists from flying. Hearing your sobs he stopped and looked to you with red eyes. Seeing fear on your face he stood and pulled you to him. Grabbing your things he looked to the brothers, giving a growl before holding you and disappearing. 

Arriving back home he dropped your things in a chair so that he could hold you with both arms. Holding you close he closed his eyes and tried to push back the demon raging inside of him. Feeling you go to pull back he looked down at you. Looking up you saw his eyes now only held a small hint of red. Cupping the side of his face you have him a small smile. "I'm sorry... " you went to say but saw him shake his head. "no my luv you have nothing to be sorry for. Are you okay, did he hurt you? " he asked taking your wrist in his hand and looking it over. 

"no I'm fine... What about you? " you asked him going to look at his back before he turned so you couldn't see. "it's fine my luv. " knotting your brows you looked at him and again went to look at his back. "well if it's fine let me see." "No." he told you backing up to where his back was against the wall. "crowley stop being so childish and let me see... Don't you trust me." giving a groan he obediently nodded before removing his coat, tie and shirt. 

You couldn't help the blush that rose to your cheeks at seeing him shirtless but pushed it away and turned him to look at his back. The sight wasn't pretty, there was the bullet wounds all bleeding and running down from each one was burn marks from the Holy water. Going to run your fingers over the wounds he hissed making you worry. 

"go lay down on the bed." doing as you said you quickly grabbed some supplies from your bag. Luckily you had decided to grab your old medical bag. Climbing up onto the bed you sat beside him and looked over each wound. "I'm going to have to get the bullets out... It's going to hurt." seeing him nod your went to work. You had dug out each bullet and cleaned the wounds before sewing them back up. You rubbed aloe Vera over the rest of his back to help soothe the pain. When you were done you saw him asleep, most likely from the medicine you had given him. Smiling you stroked the side of his face before getting up. Taking off his shoes and socks you put a blanket over his legs and lower back.

Taking a quick shower you put on your pajamas which was now just one of Crowley's dress shirts and a pair of underwear. Checking on him one last time you climbed into bed beside him making sure not to hurt him and went to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

The next day Crowley awoke suddenly. Going to jump up he felt no pain in his back only the pressure of someone beside him. Looking down he saw you cuddled into his side wearing one of his dress shirts and smiled. 

Remembering what had happened the night before he eased himself out of bed making sure not to wake you. Covering you back up he stroked the side of your cheek and smirked when he saw you give a soft smile and burrow yourself into the covers. 

Walking into the bathroom he looked in the mirror at his back. It felt strange to have someone take care of him. His own mother had never cared for him but now you had. 

His socks and shoes had been placed up, his back had bandages placed over where the gun shot wounds were and he had been covered up. 

Getting an idea Crowley quickly took a shower and for dressed. Making sure you were still asleep he disappeared. 

Feeling a light touch to your cheek and neck you opened your eyes. Seeing Crowley looking down on you you returned his smile and went to stroke his cheek. Raising your left hand a shine caught your eye. 

There on your left ring finger was the most beautiful ring you had ever seen. It was gold with small diamond lining the band and a large diamond in the center. Imminently your eyes snapped to his hazel ones. "wha..." crowley was biting his lower lip holding in his fear.

"Say something darling. " he said making you nervous. "is.. Is this real? " you asked with a trembling voice. Tilting his head to the side he looked at you "of course it is y/n. Why would you think I would trick you?" feeling tears flood your eyes you shook your head, "I.. I don't. I Just don't understand why... Me. Why would you want me?...I'm nobody... You could have any woman you want..." 

You were now crying and Crowley felt a pull at his heart. Going to sit beside you he pulled you into his lap and held your to his chest. Rocking your as you sobbed he stroked the side of your head. "shh y/n luv. I don't want just any woman. I want you y/n.You're everything to me. I want you to be my wife... My queen. I love you...nobody else... And I promise to love only you for an eternity." 

Hearing his sweet words you knew he truly did love you. That for the first time there was someone that loved you. "I love you too crowley." seeing him smile warmed your heart. "Is that a yes then?" he asked looking down at you, hope filling his eyes. With a teary smile you nodded, "yes."


	5. Chapter 5

Over the next three weeks Crowley had gotten everything planned out for the small wedding. You both had decided you didn't want anyone else there it was just going to be the two of you.

Walking out of the small shop crowley carried the large bag that held your dress. He had pushed you into getting a wedding dress and although he had went with you he had sat in the lounge area while you got it so that he didn't know what it looked like.

It was strange you had had no idea how to shop for a dress and had asked him what he wanted. "it's your dress darling. You get what you want. " he chuckled while holding you in his lap. "But I don't know what I want. I don't know what would look nice. Help me oh great tailor." pulling back he smiled at you, "You could make anything look nice luv... Well I think something light and flowy would look nice... Preferably white." this made you giggle, "You know technically I'm not a virgin... ". "Might as well be... We only got a couple minutes in before the two idiots decided to interrupt."

Now that everything was all said and done you sat at a small bench while a woman did your hair and make up. She was a nice woman for a demon. She made sure to tell you everything she was doing and asked if you liked it. When she was done she helped you into your dress and handed you a small bouquet of f/f. "You are very beautiful y/n. I am happy to be calling you my queen." with that she disappeared and you looked in the mirror. Even you couldn't help from smiling at your reflection.

Your h/c was hanging in wide curls down your back with part of it pulled back by the Celtic bride braids you had researched. You knew Crowley was from Scotland and wanted to have something from his culture. Taking a deep breath you looked at the clock before walking out of the door.

Walking out onto the soft green grass. Looking up you saw Crowley facing away from you and another man looking at you with a soft smile. Behind the two were the most beautiful mountains you had ever seen. They rolled on for miles and behind them was a soft red sunset.

Biting your lower lip you walked towards the man you loved. When you got closer crowley turned to look at you and gave a full on smile. Looking him over you smiled as will he had picked something completely different from his usual all black. He now wore a pair of tan dress pants with a white dress shirt.

When you were at arm's length he held his hand out for you to take. Holding his hands the Irish man began the ceremony. It was overall amazing. When the time came you both exchanged rings. Your ring matched the engagement ring he had given you a gold ring with small diamonds around the band. His was also a gold band with a Celtic design carved into it. "Ready to seal the deal dove?" nodding he pulled you to him sealing his lips over yours.

He kept his lips over yours for a time until you needed air. Pulling back you noticed the other man was gone leaving the two of you alone with each other. Crowley held you close to him with his hand over your lace covered hip. "I promise to love you and only you for an eternity y/n." feeling a tear roll down your cheek you smiled at him, "and I you."

Crowley held your side as he led you to a small cabin hidden in the forest. When you got to the door crowley surprised you by picking you up and carrying you into the house making you giggle. When inside the house he carried you straight into the only bedroom. Sitting you on your feet he looked at you. Crowley gave a soft smile before running his fingers over the small braids.

Kissing you he moved his hands to the back of your dress and began unlacing your dress. With the dress unlaced it fell to the floor around your feet. Crowley couldn't help a low growl at seeing you nude again. He had kept himself from seeing you since the first night. Meeting his eyes you moved your own hands to his shirt and began to undress him. Crowley leaned his forehead on yours as you unbuttoned his shirt and let it fall from his shoulders.

Soon crowley had lifted you again and layed you on the bed. Hovering over you he kissed his way down your throat. Licking and sucking marks into your skin. Moving lower he sucked at your nipples until they were hard and red. Slowly he moved his hands over your soft skin till he was rubbing light circles over your clit. By now he had you moaning and whimpering for more.

Luckily for you your husband was quick to comply. Slowly he slid one of his thick digits into you making your hips buck into his hand. While you was working you with both his hands and his mouth crowley moved his free hand to undo his pants. Kicking them off he unlatched his mouth from you before crawling up your body.

Pushing his mouth to yours you tasted yourself on his mouth. Pulling back he looked down at you, "tell me you want this y/n. Tell me this is okay... If you do.. You will be mine forever. I won't let you go." hearing the truth you meet his eyes. "I love you Crowley. I want this... Please." with that he smiled. Kissing you he thrusted into you. Crowley moaned into your mouth at how tight it was around his cock.

"ah crowley." you moaned as he thrusted deep into you over and over again. He held your hand under his own by your head as he rolled his hips into yours. Soon you could feel a pressure in your lower belly and Crowley buried his face into your neck. He grunted and groaned and with one finale push you were screaming his name. He stayed buried deep inside you as he cummed, filling you with his seed.

Crowley peppered your skin with light kisses for a while before pulling out of you. He held you as he rolled over, pulling you to lay over his chest. The two of you stayed quiet for a while both enjoying the feeling of total bliss. "did I hurt you?" looking at him you smiled and shook your head. He smiled at you and brought his hands to your head, taking one of your braids that had fell into it. Slowly you watched as he undid the braids letting the strands of hair fall.

Meeting your eyes he smiled "once a husband and wife have spent their first night together the husband unbinds his wife's braids proving she is his." smiling you kissed him.

After a while y/n was fast asleep with her head on Crowley's chest. He rubbed his hands up and down her back. "I'll love and protect you forever y/n Macleod."


End file.
